Bullsmoor All Sorts FC

Old Gits Only

Bullsmoor All Sorts Sports Club

St Helens
Bush Hill Park

They only turned up with 9 players so we let them have Flipper so he could skin Andy Hughes at left-back. We're still waiting Paul !!

Marco, Gary, Geoff, Belch and Johnny all missing, so we were down to the bare bones, even down to me having to Ref !!

However, this meant a solid back 4 of VJ, Credos, Barrel and Andy H / Uday.I mention them not just for their stirling work but also whenever Fat Gav & I looked towards our goal, all four of them were regimentally in line, equally spaced out (Not like Flipper, I mean in distance) along the 1/2 way line, all diligently marking the mercurial talent of Tim. As you can see below, they were still in line 2 hours later in the pub. Andy H had just left, so Uday dutifully jumped straight into position as he had on the pitch.


That large chest protruding on the left is obviously Fat Gav & that vision of beauty behind the bar is our favourite barmaid, who has Del (From ETFC) leering down her ample front.

Anyhow to the game, where the ten men had most of the possession, mainly due to their new aquisition on the right wing, who in his mind was giving Andy H a torrid time. I've not given Tim offsdide yet and we're 22 minutes in, when a slick 1-2 between Flipper & Tim found Tim on the right hand edge of the box, where he turned on a sixpence and sent a fine shot across the goal and lodged in the top corner of the net. 0-1

Both sides still attacking but we are getting closer, notably two headed chances for Gav (NTFO) which were spurned and a seagull killer from Fat Gav. Penn is at the heart of most good moves, but the half comes to a close with us still losing to only TEN Men. H/T 0-1

We decided they could keep Flipper, and on we went until finally in the 52nd minute Penn was in space on the right and crashed in a wicked low cross, which their C/Back Finbar unexplicably thought he was Anton Ferdinand and slid home a rather fortunate equaliser. 1-1  We're battering them now but can't unlock their doddery defence. Then in the 66th minute all Hell let Loose, as first Uday was complaining that I didnt give a foul to him, when they walloped the ball clear sending Tim away down the right. I looked round to see him speeding away with ALL our back 4 claiming offside. Normally, I would ignore them, but then it was Tim, so obviously their was a 95% possibility he was offside, so I blew. Tim then also blew (His Top), and went ON & ON & ON & ON about it. Yawwnnn !! Three minutes later, he was still sounding off, and half his own team were shouting at him to Shut the Fuck up. I turned away from their goal to remonstrate with him some more but while my back was turned Fat Gav apparently scored in the top corner from about 30 yards. Likely story, but when I looked round the ball was nestling in the back of the net. I had no choice but to award a goal, but I'm not convinced. 2-1

At this point one of their Lads had to leave for an appointment at the Emirates. Tim went off on one about 11 agen 9, so Steve stormed over to join them. So with 10 men each, on we went and after five minutes Steve broke through the middle, but was stopped dead by Credos. As he got back to my area (The Centre circle), I ribbed him about not releasing to Tim, and he bit me bleeding head off !!  Apparently he had already received a tirade of abuse from Tim about that very point. Gav is away down the left, into the box, and shoots over the top as the keeper crashed into him. Oh well, off he goes, so Stevie returns to the fold, just before he decks Tim. Three minutes to go now, and Fat Gav has the ball just outside his (And mine) area. While he was dithering about, I was nearly blown off my feet as Barrel sped, No really, past me into the box, and then Fat Gav chipped an inch perfect pass right onto his considerable belly. A loud BOING resounded around the pitch, then the ball fell to his feet and he lashed it home with all his might. 3-1 And its all over, and three minutes later I was walking towards the pub, as we broke away with Penn down the left. I waited until he got about 25 yards out, then blew for time. HA HA HA !! F/T 3-1

Millions of sausages, still in their pyjamas meant that I had to eat about 30 of them, plus loads of chips washed down with copious amounts of Stella. I then noticed something rather strange and it turned out that Tims long lost love child had been found.

Its gotta be init !!


Bring it on Therfield


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