Bullsmoor All Sorts FC

Old Gits Only

Bullsmoor All Sorts Sports Club

B A S Tour Report 2008


Well as I was a bit tardy on organising this years jolly, we did exactly the same tour as last year. All worked out pretty well though and a new member, the Silver Ghost joined us for the 1st time.  A nightmare journey to Lowestoft took us over 7 hours, but fortunately, as I told Marco to take an alternative route, he thought I was trapping them, so they took the M11/A14 also.  HA HA  Triple Bluff !! I drunk ½ our allocation of Stella, so I reluctantly bought some Becks (UURRGGHH) for the Gooners.


We spent Friday night, apparently. I had not drunk so much as usual on the way down, so I could be conscious to witness proceedings, but this was only 50% successful. However, what I do recall is that the Tour Managership was between Flipper, Uday and late entrant Belch. Belch won by a landslide with his short speech of promising a more balanced team using the formation of 1 – 10 !?!?  The player of the season was drawn between Gooners, Marco & Giovanni with 6 votes apiece. This was to be resolved Sunday afternoon after the match with Corton. I had also teased everyone that a Mystery guest was to appear on Saturday night.


SO off to wup Kings Arms Crusaders who had just won the local Div 4 title. I didn’t bother mentioning it (Aka Trowel & Hammer). New Tour Manager Belch was resplendent with new ideas etc …. Which included placing Flipper in goal and Daniel up front. This could be the shortest managership ever !!!  Video Recording, mainly by Jimbo was also in evidence, so some embarrassing moments were seen later that night (NO, I dont mean watching Gobshite trying to pull)  Well things didn’t go well and we were 4-1 down at half-time. Not even Flipp, or as he is now known, Flapper was to blame, they were just too good for us, or maybe the new tactics  were simply not good enuf !! Our goal was great though, good work by JD on the wing, ball squirted across straight to Uday, who took an almighty swing, missed, and it hit his standing leg. Fortunately, the ever alert Italian Stallion was on hand to blast into the top corner. We were a bit better in the 2nd half and frequently maurauded  down the right, mainly initiated by a revitalised Vijay, maybe trying to reclaim the ‘Best Right Back title !!’ One of these attacks resulted in our 2nd and final goal, where Marco burst away, right down to the goal line, but outside the box, but then incredibly shot in from no angle at all, and it rolled in off the far post. Wunderbar, and that’s my Lifts sown up for next season, Eh Marco !! we eventually got hammered 6-2, but who cares, off to the pub to watch the Hammers get stuffed, then back to camp about 5 ish.


Mystery Guest, the mighty ZZEEEEDDDDdddd turned up about 1830, so off we went to the Totty pub for the evening. Good time, although moreso when the footy came on the screen. Off to the Kebab house, where me and Zed raced ahead to get served. He luckily won by about 20 yards !!! Luvly(ISH) Chicken & Chips for me and Kebabs  etc… for everyone else. Back to camp, and someones caravan for more Stella !!!


Tennis this morning, but no-one was a stirring so in the Club Bar to watch my Blue Boys stuff the Gooners, as usual EH, at 1330. A jammy 1-0 win for the Gooners, and off we go to Corton for a 1530 ish kickoff. We’ve never beaten them in about 3 attempts, but we were confident, as Mikey had arrived to boost the skill factor. Reportedly, His last game, but I seriously DOUBT IT.  Videoing undertaken by Zed and unfortunately Vijay, not his finest hour. A bit boring 1st half, but we were holding our own with Danny restored to GK, he mopped up their crosses and long range efforts, and then finally with Belch in close attendance but obviously not trying to head it, he pressured their keeper into dropping it over his head into the net. Fully expected a foul from their Ref, but NO, we’re chuffing winning 1-0. 2nd half and Mikey enters the fray, but generally a lot of pressure from Corton, but the whole defence held firm, and Karl& Steve running the midfield,  then sometime after Vijay became interested in Horticulture, Mikey struck gold from about 16 yards out and slotted home for our 2nd goal. Several more chances were spurned, notably one from Marco, where we had 3 onto 1, but he shot weakly, instead of squaring to Giovanni for a tap-in. Someone, who shall remain nameless, standing next to me on the touchline, turned and changed his vote to Giovanni. Oops, bad Marco. Not long after the whistle went, and we’ve won. F…g tremendous !!. Also an encouraging return for James, although he only lasted about a ½, but covered ably by Anil.

Big Dave of Corton was apparently questioning Johnnies age and qualification for Old Gits footy, Odd that, he didn’t mention it the last few times when we didn’t win !!! To make it even sweeter, he had 3 Premiership ringers in the side, including the leagues Top Scorer. Gary & Gobby made him look exceedingly average !! He then kept switching the dressing room light off while we were still in there. Wanker !!

Anyhow, we went to their local pub, had a light meal and loads a Stella. I redid the Player of Season vote, which was again close, But Marco just scraped in, but I didn’t tell them the result till the Indian meal. We got back to camp, and Mitch yet again said he would drive us to our destination, i.e No drinking. An absolute star, although probably necessary, as Karlos was his drive partner. Sorry about that, Mitch, and thanks again. Meal was OK, and we had a good time, although NO Cobra was a bit shit. Sid got us Free Popadoms, but lets face it, we expect no less from the Great One. Back to Camp, and in the Ethnic van for more Stella, and watching the latest video. Mikey had to go home, but we thought, No matter, at least we could watch his great goal. No such Luck, as VJ was checking out the grass. Perhaps I should explain, VJ had the camera for at least 10 minutes, but for 90% of it, we had great views of the grass at his feet !! SO, obviously when Mikey slotted home, we were treated to VJs feet.


Big brekky in our caravan courtesy of the talented Gooners, NO Not Belch, the other two ! Good Stuff, then a long wait until 1030 for the 1000 departures. Off to the golf, where we found the road barricaded with a wee slalom entrance. Sid went to get us in, but came back with ‘Park it outside, and then wait an hour to get in’, so as per usual a quick head count resulted in ‘Oh lets go home, then’ . Big shock to me that was !!

Marc headed off Northwards, handy as we should be heading South. We reached Lowestoft Bridge about 200 yards ahead of Marc in a traffic jam. I rang him up to see how he was getting on, intimating that we were ½ way to Ipswich. Gullible as ever, he was moaning about the bridge as if we weren’t there, although we could of course see just the same picture as him !! Several phone calls later, we had him thinking we were nearly at the M11, whereas we were at a petrol station, and Marc had passed us 10 minutes earlier. We were headed down the A12 towards the M25, which meant drops at Chingford, Enfield and finally Cheshunt. Realising that meant I was about last, I pretended to check a traffic report on my phone, and informed Mitch that the M25 was blocked at J28-27. I suggested we took the A120 across country, which luckily meant the Cheshunt Boys were let off first. We also left the Kit, and poor VJ had to wash it. I would feel quite ashamed of that, but my thoughts return to his filming expertise, and I don’t think either Me or Spielberg will be giving him a call.


Home in time to see the Geordies get stuffed by Chelsea.


Good Tour, Where we going next year ??


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