Bullsmoor All Sorts FC

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Bullsmoor All Sorts Sports Club

BAS (NO SHIT) Tour 2012
Well, we had a smooth start with no delays and were on our way about 1130. An uneventful journey, via Chelmsford for Karlos, except for a pit stop on the A12,  and we duly arrived at Lowestoft about 1500 ish.

No, I am not checking out their arses, thankyou !!

Fatgav and I went to the bar to play pool, I won 2-1, and then the rest turned up about 1900. So into the snooker room, as usual, for loads of awards, and TM Speeches. Click HERE to hear mine and Whelans thoughts on the season. 

Click HERE to see a quick reminder of the FIVE Golden Goal contenders for this season.

Then onto the usual highlight of the night as Flipper and Belch do battle to become Tour Manager for the weekend. Flipper up first, ably supported by Marco and Barrel, and then Belch with his unique take on life. Click HERE for Flipper and HERE for Belch.

We then adjourned for a bit, whilst the votes were taken in, and then back I came with the results. So onto the Awards, and a couple of surprises amongst them. Click HERE for Video Coverage of that.

Well deserved awards for Chike, VJ and Andy W there, so all that was left was to award the Tour Managership. Despite Belchies great record and entertaining speech, the vote was overwhelmingly in Flippers favour. I remembered the last time he was the boss, putting himself up front on TWO separate occasions, not to any great success, and his excuse last time was that Marc and him were both doing the same runs. Good grief !!

So I made a management decision, and lurched to my feet, and sacked both of them and announced that I was taking over after a six year absence. This seemed to be received rather well, apart from a bit of a scowl on Belchies mush. Click HERE to see what occurred.

A good finish to the night, well, except for Belchies face, and off we went to the Losers caravan for mucho Banjos.

Hey, its Saturday, so off to Gorleston to meet the Kings Arms Crusaders, who I believe we beat last time, but they have just walked Div 1, and are now in the Vets Premier League. Oh well, undaunted, we take the field with Karlos in goal, and the others just dotted around. Suffice to say we did not start well and were lucky to be only THREE goals down at Halftime. However, after, no doubt, my stirring halftime bollocking, we were awarded a free kick just outside the box, Fatgav stepped up, and sent the ball crashing into the back of the net, albeit, via a strong deflection off Oirishes Nut !!

They kicked off, and were instantly mugged by Fatgav, who turned back, and sent a delightful through ball to the onrushing Flipper, who skinned his marker, No really, and sent in a low shot which was again deflected by the effervescent Oirish into the net. Only three minutes gone and we’re back to 2-3. Incredible, see all this action HERE. Oirish was withdrawn from the action, as he was proving to be our most dangerous attacker.

This woke them up and shortly afterwards, we were 4-2 down. But here we go, a bit of a melee, and Uday is only three yards out, about to strike, but He gets a nudge, and off he goes, but fortunately for us, it was Fatgav who nudged him, and whacked the ball home from close range. 3-4

Not long after, we had three chances from a corner, but all were spurned, especially the last effort by Barrel. See HERE for our last stand in this entertaining match.

From the goalkick, they galloped up the other end, Belch had it, but then gave it back to their most dangerous player, Stevie of the Yellow Boots, and its 3-5.

Not long after, we let in another soft goal to make it 3-6. They then took their foot off the peddle, and coasted home for a resounding win. Marc missed a couple of chances as shown HERE, but it made no difference.

Off to the Kings Arms, and we settled into the front corner to watch the Gooners squirm who were 2-1 down to Norwich at the time. Fatgav went straight out again, looking for a cashpoint , I think, so we took the opportunity to put the ‘No Shit’ shirts on, ready for his return. Click HERE to see his, thankfully good, reaction to this tribute to his dirty protest from a couple of years back.   Noshit !!

An entertaining couple of hours in the Kings Arms, as Oirish cooked us Burgers and Sausages, and the Gooner game ended up 3-3, with Norwich equalising late on. I took great delight in reminding Marc that in about 10 years, he had NEVER seen the Gooners actually win a game, whilst watching it with me in a pub. Marvellous !!  

Back to camp to watch the Gobshites lose the Cup Final, and then off to the Harbour Inn, where I was a wuss and went home at 2230, while the rest went on to Notleys, and didn’t return to 0300. Piss’eads !!! Apparently a good time was had by all, as you can see HERE, but certain incriminating evidence, has been excluded, thanks to bribery to me.


A real struggle to get up next morning to get to Caister, and Belch was desperate for the toilet, but Fatgav was installed in ours. I told him to goto the Losers caravan and use theirs, but accidentally told him the wrong caravan No . Tee Hee, he nearly fell for it, walking over with a bogroll in his hand, but unfortunately me and Steve were pissing ourselves and he cottoned on. He eventually got in our toilet, but I think a bit late as look what we found in the bog.

Belch tried to say they were Fatgav's, but we checked and these were too small to get round Fatgavs arse.

We left a bit late, but we got there just after 1100. I had decided that we probably needed Karlos on the pitch rather than Sid, but as events unfolded and he played like a stranded walrus, perhaps I should have left him in goal. Least said the better really, but the much younger oppos (35ish), were much too quick for our aging team, and ran out easy peasy winners by 11-3. Sid did all right in goal, and actually saved ½ a dozen. Fortunately, I accidentally lost the Vids for this debacle.

Nice cheap beer in their Community Centre, and we stayed there for several hours. Off to camp, and then back to GT Yarmouth for the Indian. General opinion is that the food was shit !! Oh well, back to the ethnic caravan for a while, where they left me to make my own way home, after Match of the Day. I did end up in the field at the other side of our caravan, but found my way back eventually.

Big Brekkie thanks to Marc and Barrel, and away by 1030 ish.

Lots of serenading of Flipper on the way back, mainly I think because he is so popular, init !! Coverage of this tribute to Flipper is on our Facebook page.

Another Tour done with then, let’s look forward to Sep 2nd. Don’t be Late !!

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